February 02, 2011
Raise your hand if you had the pleasure of gaining the "Freshman 15". Never the bandwagon-jumper, I gained my 15 lbs. during my senior year. Blimey, I'm a rebel! That year I went through the obligatory emotions: denial, bewilderment, and full-blown obsession about the new-found junk in my very-spacious trunk.
Ready for today's Valentine's Day gift that's appropriate for all girls--committed and single and yet somehow related to the TMI story above? I give you a set of chocolate-covered strawberries. The seemingly traditional V-Day gift isn't at all. It's a set of lip glosses *GONG*!
The Strawberry Sweet Lips Set ($12) is a trio of plump (plastic) strawberries, which hold Vitamin E-enriched lip gloss. So like, I'm imagining pulling one out in front of a Godiva store as they're hand dipping their strawberries. I'd then think, "eat your hearts out, suckers" as I called Papa John's via speed dial. It's the circle of carbs, my friends. The circle of carbs.
February 02, 2011
Raise your hand if you had the pleasure of gaining the "Freshman 15". Never the bandwagon-jumper, I gained my 15 lbs. during my senior year. Blimey, I'm a rebel! That year I went through the obligatory emotions: denial, bewilderment, and full-blown obsession about the new-found junk in my very-spacious trunk.
Ready for today's Valentine's Day gift that's appropriate for all girls--committed and single and yet somehow related to the TMI story above? I give you a set of chocolate-covered strawberries. The seemingly traditional V-Day gift isn't at all. It's a set of lip glosses *GONG*!
The Strawberry Sweet Lips Set ($12) is a trio of plump (plastic) strawberries, which hold Vitamin E-enriched lip gloss. So like, I'm imagining pulling one out in front of a Godiva store as they're hand dipping their strawberries. I'd then think, "eat your hearts out, suckers" as I called Papa John's via speed dial. It's the circle of carbs, my friends. The circle of carbs.
May 25, 2010
Recently inspired by two of my newly single friends participating in online dating, I thought I'd compose a little sumthin for all my single ladies. Here are five products you can use as soon as you realize the dude is a dandy or a dud.
Peppermint Oil ($9.95)
If he's a luvah: Place a dot on your tongue making the proceeding convo...you guessed it...like a breath of fresh air.
If he's a loser: I'm not recommending you put some in a rude boy's eyes, because you know, I'd never suggest something like that.
Face Highlighter ($25)
If he's a luvah: Apply it to the bridge of your nose and cheekbones for a healthy shimmer.
If he's a loser: Well,if you put enough of this on the corners of your eyes, you can fake conjunctivitis.
Hair Serum/Gloss ($30)
If he's a luvah: Get touchable-looking hair and mask split ends if you haven't seen your salon since it saw you.
If he's a loser: Two words...faux drool
Lip Color ($22)
If he's a luvah: Though the my-lip-gloss-is-poppin look is cool, take the sex appeal down a thousand: blot liberally.
If he's a loser: Coral is the hotter-than-hot color of the season. Why not smear it on your teeth? Take that, Mr. Big Ego.
Volumizing Mascara ($14)
If he's a luvah:Let your lashes go wild as he tells you a fascinating story.
If he's a loser: Give yourself a makeshift moustache. Right there at the table.
Honorable Mention:
Though I am beyond over the ironic, oversized geeky glasses look, they could come in handy if he turns out to be a toolbag. Sport these Aviator Readers ($10) to distract him from your perpetual eye rolling.
January 29, 2010
At least three times this week I've heard, "It's only Tuesday? Gah, it feels like Thursday!" Admittedly, two of those voices reside in my head.
I am so happy it's Thursday you have no idea. And true, walking around swigging a liter of Johnnie Walker is not quite my thing, a "spirited" lip gloss like C.O. Bigelow Winter Cordials Hot Buttered Rum Lip Gloss($7.50) is totally my preferred method of sedation.
August 25, 2009
We all have our things: fuller lashes, longer hair, more defined cheekbones...one of mine is the nude lip. Glamacitas, you know what I mean...the color that you weren't born with and yet, you want it more than (insert your hunky hunk of choice here). Ok yeah, even more than him.
I have tried lip stains, tinted balms, lipsticks, and lip pencils. I find one I like, but then that massive green monster rises up inside of me and says, "You can do better. What about the new Revlon collection?"
*cue sad music*And I'm back in the game...a lone wolf on a seemingly never-ending quest for a gloss more life affirming. Think of me as beauty's Bruce Banner (or Teen Wolf).
Luckily right now I'm into a NEW really gorgeous hue Philosophy The Supernatural Lip Gloss in Bare Your Soul ($15). I adore how it glides on so perfectly, you don't need a mirror or a light (no judgment) to apply it. The entire collection adds a big ol' kiss of color to your soup coolers.
Oh...did I mention I'm working on a super cool story with some of my girlfriends? I'm not going to say too much (very hard task for me), but it's gonna' be the dopeness. Look for it the week after Labor Day!
