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March 16, 2011
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A Quick Shanking Before Breakfast

HBO OZ Image Courtesy of picktainment.com

Did I ever tell you about my sleep-away camp experience--when one of my fellow campers went on a cabin-wide stabbing spree? Yeah, a little girl was teased by a countless number of kids and one day she snapped. She stole a metal spoon from the cafeteria and bent its head each day until it broke off.

That night, she stabbed some of her cabin tormentors. I simultaneously tell the story as a funny anecdote about not effing with the wrong person and as a cautionary chronicle of bullying.  I also feel compelled to tell the story because I still can't believe I experienced it.

Did a ten year old really make a shank out of a spoon? Yes, though far from being a prison, an "OZ"-like incident happened at a sweet little camp in Connecticut. And let me be honest. Maybe my fascination with gritty shows like HBO's "OZ" also leads me to hold on to the prison-yard tale from my youth.

Or maybe it's because I'm going to ask you this *wink wink*: Are you in beauty prison?

Beauty prison is a place where we all at one point reside. We wear the same lip color, hairstyle, nail polish color, etc. But we don't just do it because we love it and it's "our thing". No, I'm not talking about "signature" colors or styles. I'm talking about doing certain things because you're afraid to try something new.

For instance, I love a nude lip; it's my thing. But when I found myself clinging to it, I realized I had to shake it up with my current reddish-brown shade.

So on this hump day I ask you, "Are you in beauty prison?". If so, I believe it's time for a prison break.

February 02, 2011
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Valentine's Day Gifts: A Moment on the Lips

Raise your hand if you had the pleasure of gaining the "Freshman 15". Never the bandwagon-jumper, I gained my 15 lbs. during my senior year. Blimey, I'm a rebel! That year I went through the obligatory emotions: denial, bewilderment, and full-blown obsession about the new-found junk in my very-spacious trunk.

Ready for today's Valentine's Day gift that's appropriate for all girls--committed and single and yet somehow related to the TMI story above? I give you a set of chocolate-covered strawberries. The seemingly traditional V-Day gift isn't at all. It's a set of lip glosses *GONG*!

The Strawberry Sweet Lips Set ($12) is a trio of plump (plastic) strawberries, which hold Vitamin E-enriched lip gloss. So like, I'm imagining pulling one out in front of a Godiva store as they're hand dipping their strawberries. I'd then think, "eat your hearts out, suckers" as I called Papa John's via speed dial. It's the circle of carbs, my friends. The circle of carbs.

November 02, 2010
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Boy, You're the Balm!

Guess that unseasonably warm weather is over, huh! That means it's time to layer on more than just hoodies and long johns. Just wondering, anyone wear long johns anymore (like the old school, off-white, waffle-textured ones)? Think about it and get back to me.

As I patiently await your response, I present you with NIVEA for Men Replenishing Lip Balm (approx. $2.50). It's great for guys because it's lightweight as well as fragrance, color, and "gloss" free. And you can't beat that with a bat.

February 08, 2010
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Be Stila My Beating Heart



Sometimes a "Valentine's Day gift set" is merely last season's holiday gift set with a behearted bow. C'mon girls, don't tell me you haven't noticed! But this Stila Valentine's Day Set ($34) is so not a regurgitated holiday gift set — the Cherry Crush Lip and Cheek Stain mimics the hue that adorns your cheeks when your beau is around. It also resembles the rouge de rage when that same beau drives you bonkers!

Add a slamming highlighter, eye shadow and mascara (the only product in the set I have YET to try) and you're all set! Get it? Set. That one was cute...admit it.

January 29, 2010
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Pass the Butterscotch. Hold the Butter.



At least three times this week I've heard, "It's only Tuesday? Gah, it feels like Thursday!" Admittedly, two of those voices reside in my head.

I am so happy it's Thursday you have no idea. And true, walking around swigging a liter of Johnnie Walker is not quite my thing, a "spirited" lip gloss like C.O. Bigelow Winter Cordials Hot Buttered Rum Lip Gloss($7.50) is totally my preferred method of sedation.

December 16, 2009
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Shimmer Shimmer Ya


I wholeheartedly believe hard candy is a grandmother thing. Both my paternal and maternal grandmas always have them on tap. My dad's mom is all about peppermint. If I remember correctly, she even gives her peppermint game a holiday spin...candy canes. I am actually more of a gummy candy girl. This is most likely related to my traumatic number-2-pencil incident of 1984.

Anyways, I'm sure my grandmother would be happy to know that I'm (sorta) representing her mint love when I use ChapStick True Shimmer in Peppermint Rush ($2.49). As the name indicates, there's a subtle shimmer and pleasant minty scent. Two words grandmas just love: subtle and pleasant!

October 22, 2009
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Think Pink: A Dedication to Molly Ringwald (Kinda)

At 5 o'clock this morning I found myself up (I know, right?!) and walking around Harlem. I gotta say. I saw some really crazy crap at that hour including a guy carrying a huge cactus and a gypsy cab crawling next to me as I walked down the street. Thanks for the escort, homie.

Um, as I nervously quickened my pace, I began to think of pretty thoughts...pink thoughts...pretty in pink thoughts if you will. I thought of Duckie's white shoes boppin' around Iona's record store, jammin to Otis Redding. I thought of Blaine ("that's a major appliance. That's not a name!"). And of course Andie. Was I the only one who felt Iona's prom dress was gorge as it was? I mean lace collar...really Andie?!

Another reason I was thinking pinking (sorry) was because it's Breast Cancer Awareness month. That means, among many other important things we can do to show our support, we can buy beauty products where a portion of the proceeds will go to the cause. A couple of my faves:

Jeepers Creepers How'd You Curl Them Peepers: Sephora Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Eyelash Curler $16. So girly-chic I could use it all day (temperamental lashes permitting). I so-so love to use this curler because it grips my lashes and honestly makes me feel like I'm actually doing something good. And btw, it makes my lashes look phenom! One dollar from every sale goes to Breast Cancer Awareness.

I Just Want Your Extra Time and Your Lips (Glossed): Purple Lab Sealed With A Cure $18.50
This universally flattering color is infused with immune system-boosting echinacea, antioxidants, and vanilla (a natural anti-depressant) and it is super moisturizing. It was created with breast cancer survivors in mind. For instance, chemotherapy can dry out the lips. A portion of the proceeds will go to The Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation.

October 21, 2009
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She's not! Emma Jean happens to be my southern grandma who I talk about ad infinitum. If there is no opinion being expressed, she most certainly fell asleep or is not in the room. I grew up with this lovable crazy lady and learned quite a bit from her. Of course I got a dresser full of beauty tips from her, too. Most are practical like: there's no such thing as a bad hair day when there are wigs.

In that vein, I offer you a similar thought, why buy an expensive lip balm when you can get ChapStick Fresh Effects in Green Tea ($1.99)? It's their newest balm that coats your lips in creamy moisture. As with all balms (even the ones that cost a grip), you can wear it alone or under your gloss or lipstick.

Oh and though it is creamy (not waxy), it doesn't leave a chalky film on your lippers. Plus, it has a sweet minty flavor that can help freshen your breath just like those fancy shmancy ones!

The Breezy Synopsis
1) It's dope
2) It's cheap
3) It tastes yum

September 28, 2009
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Chap Sick + Our "Glam-Away" Winner!

I drink about 85 gallons of water a day. No lie. I got myself a little work station (er, my iPhone) set up in the bathroom. Why would I shelf a potential social life? Well, I've read that drinking a lot of H2O can prevent dry, cracked, lips. And my lips peel in the summer so you can imagine what dem things are doing right now!

So last night I found myself watching "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and exfoliating my lips (read: rubbing the dry skin off till I drew blood). And then I remembered I just got Laura Geller Lip Strip ($19). I put Larry and Leon (my new favorite comedic couple - sorry Jeff) on pause and (literally) ran to get the all-natural sugar scrub.

Well I wasn't expecting much, but after 30 seconds (ok fine, I kept it on for 45), the sweetly minted scrub made my lips super duper soft and flake free. I spun around to test them out on someone and yeah...just me and the TV. So I took it old school and aimed for the ol' forearm. It was hot.

In much prettier news...Our (First Ever) Glam-Away Winner is: Cindy Aiton!!!
Cindy, please email me your mailing address and let me know if you want the John Frieda or Aveeno products. Congratulations!!!

Ask Breezy (Anonymously)!


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